Looking For Love
by Kryzanna
Summary: Every Valentine's Day, Naruto's work hosts an event for lonely singles and this year he's determined to NOT be one of them. He's a romantic at heart, but with work, and helping his friends with their plans, how can he expect to fall in love when he can't even get a date? What does love have in store for them all? Will contain yaoi and lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome all! I just had a burning desire to write something with bartenders, and well, I love love, so here we are. I haven't been uploading as many fics or as recently as I would've liked... so here's my little apology for that! Hope you enjoy my dears. **

**WARNING: *CONTAINS YAOI* and will also contain **LEMONS****

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. **

* * *

There was a pained yell from somewhere in the background. Naruto Uzumaki, aged twenty-five, didn't so much as look over his shoulder as he busied himself with pouring up a new drink for the man sitting in front of him. It was prime time on Saturday the first of February at Club Akatsuki; one of the local joints, where Naruto worked as a bartender, and at the moment, he was engaged in a conversation with yet another hopelessly-in-love man seeking advice from a stranger.

"On the house," he assured the guy who had been just about to reach for his wallet, " –So tell me man; why do you keep chasing after her even if she's made it very clear that you guys are just friends?"

"I don't know," the man muttered morosely as he took a deep gulp of the drink; Naruto downing a shot with him, "I guess…sometimes you just know what's right, right? I love her just…so much…and I don't know if she'll ever stop thinking of me as a friend…"

" –Well, actions speak louder than words, buddy," Naruto admitted with a shrug; sliding a pair of glasses filled with water down the bar towards two rather intoxicated females. "Take her on a date. Show up with flowers. Show her you can be romantic –alternatively…" He chuckled mischievously to himself, "…Go on up that dance-floor and suck some poor girl's face in front of her. If that doesn't make her see that you are a sexual, desirable object, then my whole life has been a lie."

The man looked up from the bar across to the other side of the large room where there was a stage and dance floor blasting with music. He seemed to spy the girl in question, because he knocked back the remainder of his drink and with a deep exhale, headed over; a man on a mission.

A tall, white-haired male approached Naruto from behind the bar with a sympathetic smirk.

"Another lonely heart?" he chuckled.

" –You know it," Naruto sighed in pity, "Nice guy though."

"…You told him to go hook up?" he inquired.

"As always," Naruto shrugged with a laugh before collecting up the empty glasses and adding them to a tray for washing. "Suigetsu; when has that advice _ever_ failed!"

"…Um, every single time _you've_ tried it," Suigetsu laughed and Naruto pouted crossly at his co-worker, whipping him with a tea towel. This wasn't the first lonely heart he'd encountered that night, and it wasn't going to be the last, either. He didn't mind though. He loved hearing peoples' stories and being able to offer some friendly advice. Even if they weren't having romantic problems, he liked talking to people. That was what was so great about being a bartender; getting to meet so many new, different people -all the time.

" –By the way, what was all the yelling about?" Naruto inquired curiously but Suigetsu just waved away the question as though it wasn't important.

"Deidara punched some guy again," he replied nonchalantly, "Almost broke the guy's nose."

"_Again_?" Naruto sighed heavily, beaming out into the crowd of people swarming up to the bar as he began mixing drinks at lightning speed. "Good punch though?"

"Hell yeah," Suigetsu chortled, " –He may look like a girl, but he sure as hell doesn't hit like one."

"That's sexist," Naruto scolded playfully and Suigetsu held up his hands defensively as he began pouring a line of tequila shots.

"Hey; I've been punched by a lot of girls; and I'd take those hits any day over one of Deidara's," Suigetsu laughed and Naruto chuckled along with him. "Anyway; Itachi's smoothing it over…" The pair of them looked up at the exit in time to see a man being dragged out by a giant blue man; their new bouncer, Kisame. Their boss; Itachi, was stalking alongside him; obviously seeing the troublemaker out –and though the Uchiha was a good deal shorter than the bouncer, he had an incredibly imposing presence.

"Deidara's gonna be in _trouble_," Suigetsu cackled gleefully, sniggering to himself as a pretty young woman with pink hair stuck her head around the corner of the large, U-shaped bar.

"Naruto, come around this side, would you?" Sakura called lightly, "You're swapping with Deidara." Suigetsu and Naruto smirked at each other and bumped fists before Naruto sauntered off around to the other side of the bar –the side closest to the dance floor, and hence the side that was usually filled with drunken, sleazy men.

A blonde male with long hair half pulled up in a ponytail stalked past Naruto with a malevolently pleased look on his face. Naruto rolled his eyes at Deidara's expression; it was the satisfied look of someone who had just punched a guy and not gotten in trouble for it.

" 'What's a pretty lady like you doing in a place like this' line again?" Naruto inquired of Sakura as he started clearing away some of the glasses lining the bar.

"Pretty much," Sakura sighed heavily, but unable to repress a giggle, "Has anyone thought of telling him that if he doesn't want to get mistaken for a girl, he shouldn't dress like one?"

"And get punched?" Naruto exclaimed with a grin, "The cropped tops look good on him." Sakura peered around the corner and had a quick glance over what Deidara was wearing; a loose t-shirt that fell to mid-abdomen, and a pair of ass-hugging blank pants that made her wish she had the butt to fill them.

"That is not fair," she harrumphed crossly; spinning back to face Naruto, "His ass is cuter than mine! No wonder he gets hit on more than me!"

"If I'm being honest; if I'm going to get rejected and punched –I'd probably prefer to get hit by Deidara," Naruto winced; rubbing his cheek at the memory of the last time she'd punched him. It hadn't been a very pleasant experience. She still maintained that he'd deserved it.

Business resumed as normal; Sakura flirting like a pro with the guys who bought drinks from her; hoping to get tips; while Naruto chatted amiably with anyone who seemed to want to talk. Unfortunately, since he was on the "club side" of the bar, and not the "bar side", it wasn't so much about friendly (or depressed) conversation as much as it was about getting smashed.

Not to mention that the few cute girls who happened to purchase drinks from him didn't seem to have any time for him –even looking a little disappointed when he didn't charge them.

"What's the big deal?" Naruto complained to Sakura as he sighed; surprised to find that his section of the bar was now practically empty –all the men flocking to Sakura. Sakura just rolled her eyes with a sigh and jerked her thumb down towards the other end. Naruto's gaze shifted in the direction indicated and he groaned dramatically.

"That is not _fair_!" he complained flatly.

At the other end of the bar was the final bartender; dressed in a navy blue dress shirt; sleeves rolled up, several buttons undone –spinning two bottles of vodka in his hands like it was nothing as he prepared shot after shot for beautiful girls who were practically swooning over him.

"_What_ do they see in him?" Naruto complained flatly; leaning on the bar in a little bit of awe at how Sasuke Uchiha was managing to mix drinks like he didn't give a shit; and look so casual while doing it. And he was going to wind up with probably more tips than the rest of them combined.

"I don't know," Sakura commented cheekily as she too leaned on the bar and watched him, "Maybe it's his sexy, broody face; that dark, silent, mysterious personality…or just his eyes…they're so deep, you know? God, he really is such a _handsome _man. I just hate how beautiful and perfect he is!"

"…Still won't be your date for Valentine's?" Naruto chuckled sympathetically.

"Yeah, you know it," Sakura muttered, rolling her eyes and straightening up again, "Can't blame a girl for trying though, right?"

"Tch…" Naruto scoffed in mock jealousy, "I don't see what's great about him anyway; so what if he has pretty hair or –I quote 'sultry eyes'…" He mimed gagging on the very words. "…I don't see why every girl wants him…"

"Still don't have a date for Valentine's?" Sakura remarked conversationally and he shook his head dejectedly.

"I swear; I am not going to be rostered on for Valentine's Day this year," he declared flatly; quickly serving up a line of vodka shots and accepting payment, "Every year I wind up working because I 'don't have plans'…" He pouted cutely and Sakura had to laugh at him, "This year, I'll make plans so Itachi can't get me to work at the Lonely Night Out. It's a depressing way to spend Valentine's!"

"Good luck with that," Sakura chirped brightly, " –But remember that you said that you'd set me up with someone this year? You promised."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto grumbled; looking over to that Sasuke was setting away the bottles he'd been using –taking advantage of the fact that no one was fawning over him over the bar for the moment. "I'm getting round to it. Oi, bastard –where are you going?"

"I'm due a break," Sasuke sniffed flatly as he stalked past, "Some of us actually do work around here, moron." Naruto bristled at the jab but stuck out his tongue childishly at him. This actually got a small smirk from the broody raven, so Naruto counted it as a smile, and therefore a victory.

"Hey, when you get back; bet I can serve more people in ten minutes than you," the blonde goaded.

"You're dreaming," Sasuke scoffed superiorly.

" –You win, I'll buy you a drink," Naruto chuckled.

"…When was the last time you _paid_ for a drink here?" the raven rolled his eyes as he ran a hand back through his dark bangs. Naruto just shrugged cheekily; elbowing his old friend slash most hated person in the world in the stomach as he passed. "Fine; but don't complain when you lose."

"I don't complain when I lose," Naruto defended hotly.

" –You do," Sakura reminded him flatly, "Every time Sasuke beats you in something you kick up a huge fuss." Naruto pouted; glaring at the pair of them who exchanged wicked smirks. Well, that was what happened when you worked with people you'd known since primary school; they ganged up on you. He'd thought he was in love with Sakura for a long time…but after he'd been rejected enough times, he'd realised that he really was a lot better off with her as a friend. She kept him, well, realistic.

And having Sasuke around wasn't always terrible; even if he did always attract every available woman (and often some unavailable) in the vicinity. The pair of them were ridiculously competitive by nature (which had caused a lot of conflict in the early years of their acquaintance) but after so much time now, they'd sort of gotten used to it. Sasuke had even gotten Naruto the job at Club Akatsuki, since his brother owned it.

Said brother, Itachi, was currently returning to the bar; apparently having finished business with whoever had made the mistake of hitting on Deidara.

"Where's that Deidara…" Itachi inquired flatly; looking a little unimpressed as he stalked past the pair of them. Three thumbs jerked towards the other half of the bar and Itachi stuck his nose in the air; probably off to berate the blonde for having almost started _another_ brawl.

* * *

It was finally nearing closing time, and to Naruto's relief the club was practically dead by now. Like most Saturday nights, the bartenders had been practically run off their feet; and Suigetsu was already lounging over at one of the tables with a beer while Sakura mopped the floor.

"…Can't believe Itachi's making me fucking clean the bathrooms again, yeah…" Deidara grumbled as he stalked towards the bathrooms with a mop.

" –Dei; you _punched_ a dude," Naruto hollered with a laugh as he slid a lemonade down the bar to his redheaded friend, Gaara; who was his ride home. Deidara was heard to be muttering mutinous things as he disappeared into the restrooms. "So Gaara; what are your plans for Valentine's Day?"

"Do I need to make plans?" Gaara inquired flatly as Naruto wiped down the counter before gratefully accepting one of the drinks that Sasuke had made the staff at Itachi's request as a reward for coping so well that evening.

"Well _yeah_," Naruto exclaimed, "I mean; it's _Valentine's Day_! A day to fall in love and celebrate love!"

"…If you're in love, shouldn't you be celebrating it every day?" Gaara remarked flatly; rolling his eyes as he drank his lemonade. "I don't see what's so special about Valentine's Day."

" –Gaara, you should know Naruto by now," Sakura teased; flicking the blonde's cheek as she wandered past, "He loves love." Naruto blushed and pouted at her. "We started the Lonely Night Out on Valentine's at his request; so that all the lonely hearts could 'have somewhere to be lonely together, and maybe fall in love' –am I right, Naruto?" She giggled again and Naruto glared at her; not appreciating her teasing.

" –Don't you usually work on Valentine's Day?" Gaara reminded him with a raised eyebrow and he sighed heavily.

"Yeah; but hopefully not this year," he admitted hopefully, "But if I am; you'll come down and hang out with me…right?"

"…Sure," Gaara shrugged, "Nothing better to do, I suppose."

"For someone so obsessed with falling in love, you do pretty poorly at getting a date," Sasuke commented flatly.

"It'll happen!" Naruto squawked indignantly as he swatted the raven with his tea towel, "I've got a good feeling about this year, okay?"

"Yeah…maybe one of those 'lonely hearts' will fall in love with you at the Lonely Night Out," Suigetsu hollered from across the room. Naruto flicked him his middle finger in response as they all heard a string of curses coming from one of the bathrooms.

" –How is Deidara not fired yet?" Sakura sighed with a small laugh.

"…He gives Itachi an excuse to call one of the bouncers over," Naruto chuckled slyly.

"What was that, Naruto?" Itachi Uchiha's calm voice inquired from somewhere nearby and the blonde immediately put on his best innocent face.

"Nothing, Itachi," he assured him; his expression angelic. Itachi didn't buy it for a moment. "What's Dei swearing about?"

"He got hit on again," Itachi informed him; a smile dancing around the corners of his lips, "Same guy who's tried it before; tall guy with the slicked back hair? Said his name was Hidan or something like that."

"Sleazy pickup lines?" Naruto queried.

"That's the one," Itachi chuckled, "He's always drunk so it really bothers Deidara that he keeps getting mistaken for a girl _every time_." The staff members all sniggered to themselves –except for Sasuke, who simply smirked and left a handful of scraps of paper on the bench as he headed for the door.

"Oi; bastard, don't just leave your shit here," Naruto complained; having just finished clearing it. He looked down at the mass of paper and his eyes widened.

Every single piece contained a phone number.

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding!" he exclaimed crossly; looking up incredulously as Sasuke looked back over his shoulder with a sly smirk. "You got _all_ these numbers? Just from tonight?"

"Seriously, dude; how are you _not_ sneaking away to get laid during shifts?" Suigetsu's mouth dropped open in astonishment, "If I was you, I would be having _so much sex_!" Sasuke just scoffed at these suggestions.

" –You're not going to call _any_ of them?" Naruto gasped, counting out the scraps; there were at least twenty there.

"None of them interested me," he shrugged casually and then mockingly added, "Keep them. Maybe you'll be able to actually get a date with one of them…" Naruto swiped the numbers off the counter aggresively; making a big show of even tearing one up.

"I don't need your 'seconds'!" he snapped irritably; folding his arms crossly, "I can totally get a date myself!" Sasuke just shrugged and stalked out of the bar; having just clocked out. Naruto glared out after him for a moment until Sakura laid a hand on his shoulder companionably.

"…You want me to help pick them up?" she inquired with a small laugh.

"Yeah," Naruto muttered; immediately vaulting over the bar and landing amidst the scraps of paper, "I think a couple of them had names on them too…"

"Now that is sad," Gaara chuckled in amusement; watching Naruto quickly collect up the pieces of paper and examine them to see if the numbers were decipherable.

"Hey, hey, no judging!" Naruto snorted; sticking his tongue out, "You don't care about getting a date for Valentine's! I do. Is it so wrong to want to have someone to take out; and treat them like a princess…and maybe even fall instantly in love?"

"Oh here we go…" Itachi muttered as the room rolled their eyes; having heard Naruto's various romanticised speeches one too many times.

" –Pfft, love at first sight?" Gaara raised a sceptical eyebrow, "Love takes time. You should have to _grow_ to love someone…"

"Okay, that's enough for now," Sakura sighed heavily as she cuffed Naruto around the back of the head, "I'll see you for work on Monday; and we have to start properly getting everything ready for the Lonely Night Out. Good luck finding a date, Naruto." She blew him a mocking kiss as she too gathered up her gear and headed for the door. Naruto let out a sigh as he watched her leave.

"She's so _nice_," he snorted, "I don't see why Sasuke won't just date her already."

"Yeah," Suigetsu remarked sarcastically, "I totally wouldn't have any clue. She's the epitome of all things female…except for her mean right hook; am I right, Itachi?"

"My little brother's reasoning is completely beyond me…" Itachi agreed flatly. Naruto raised an eyebrow at them but they just shrugged.

"Maybe it's like how Sakura wouldn't date me because we're just good friends," he mused to himself with a shrug.

In any case, he was determined that _this year_ things would be different. Things would be special, and he would find someone! He'd always imagined falling in love, and he couldn't wait for it to happen –but first, there was finding a date…and finding someone to set up Sakura with…and of course he still had to help plan the Lonely Night Out.

There was so much to be done, and Valentine's Day was only two weeks away!

* * *

**Ahh, I do so love Valentine's Day; I mean even when I don't have someone to spend it with, it's such a cute day!  
So Naruto thinks he's going to find true love this year? Well, from the looks of it (and looking at his track record), that doesn't seem too likely; but that doesn't mean he's given up yet! **

**Stay tuned (and maybe review) to see how he tries to make love happen! (Even if it isn't necessarily for himself.)**

**Love, as always**

**xx K**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh how I love awkward stories about love. Oh how I love a romanticist Naruto. Chapter two!**

* * *

" –No, no, please don't hang up –" Naruto begged, only to have the twelfth girl hang up on him. He laid the work phone back in its cradle with a mournful look on his face. Sakura looked over at him sympathetically as he mimed having a miniature breakdown.

"Sakura, what's wrong with me?" he complained flatly, "Tell me; do I have a funny accent? Or a gross lisp? Or am I grossly disfigured in some way that I can't see?"

"…What are you talking about?" Sakura inquired flatly; cocking an eyebrow at him as she busied herself with drying off some glasses. They weren't too busy tonight; it was only a Monday after all; the only patrons of the bar were guys looking out to have a relaxing drink after a stressful start of the week. And the local drunks of course.

"I mean I know I'm nothing like Sasuke," the blonde continued to babble, "But I like to think that maybe I'm a kind of attractive guy. I'm nice, right? I don't smell?"

"Seriously, Naruto," Sakura rolled her eyes and he sighed, jabbing an accusatory finger at the phone.

"I've been calling those girls that gave their numbers to Sasuke," he informed her flatly, "_None_ of them want to go on a date with me. _None _of them! None of them even _remember_ me? How is that even possible?" He clutched at his hair in despair and let out a dry sob, "They all just hang up…or tell me I'm a stalker…"

"You'll find someone," Sakura commented gently; patting him on the back to comfort him, "You're probably just looking in all the wrong places. Maybe there's someone right in front of you and you just haven't spotted them. And no, that doesn't mean me," she added with a chuckle. Naruto just made a mutinous grumble about her being a tease.

"…Yeah, yeah, I found you a date," he muttered; handing her a phone number, "My friend Sai from summer camp? He's an artist now and he said he'd be glad to be your date for Valentine's." Sakura immediately wrapped him in an excited bear hug. He made an 'oof' as he heard his joints all creak in protest at the strength of her hug.

"You're the best!" she exclaimed in delight, "What's he like? Is he cute? Funny? Artsy; that's cool…"

"I suppose he's cute…for a guy?" Naruto raised an eyebrow; thinking of Sai and trying to figure out if the word 'cute' was the right word to describe him. "He's got dark hair, pale skin…he's quite serious but he's a nice guy." Sakura nodded thoughtfully and clapped her hands gleefully.

"Ooh this is so exciting," she giggled, "Oh, by the way, do you think you could find someone for Ino as well? She doesn't want to be alone on Valentine's either…"

"Why don't I take her out?" Naruto offered, "That way –"

"I don't think so," Sakura declined quickly and his face immediately fell, "I mean…that…I don't really think you're her type…" She laughed awkwardly and he pouted. "I'm sure you'll find someone though; someone that you fit with better than Ino."

"Fine," he muttered, "I…I suppose I can find someone for her?" Sakura beamed at him and headed off down the bar with a cheery wave; leaving Naruto glaring at the nearest bottle of alcohol miserably.

"What's with the long face?" a loud, obnoxious voice inquired brightly, and Naruto looked up to see his good friend Kiba Inuzuka walking into the bar. The wild-haired brunette took a seat on one of the bar stools and Naruto obligingly poured him a pint of his favourite beer.

"Valentine's Day," Naruto grumbled, "Can't find a date. Everyone seems to prefer Sasuke over me."

"The dude's banging," Kiba shrugged, "If I was a chick, I'd totally go there."

"No argument there," Suigetsu agreed; having come out from the kitchen at the sound of Kiba's voice. The pair greeted each other with a fist pound as Suigetsu flicked his tea towel over his shoulder lazily, "Heard you set up Sakura for V-day. Could you do me a solid and grab me a date too? Not that Ino chick though; not into blondes."

"Are you kidding me?" Naruto complained good-naturedly, but immediately folded when Suigetsu flicked him a cheeky grin. "Fine. But you owe me! And Kiba; like you'd stand a chance with Sasuke if you were a chick!"

"I so would!" Kiba sniffed haughtily, "I'd have massive tits and that messy-sexy hair that some chicks have…" Suigetsu and Naruto both burst out laughing at the mental image of Kiba as a woman; laughter that apparently Kiba didn't appreciate. "Come on guys, I'd totally be hot enough to hook up with Sasuke…" Suigetsu and Naruto immediately stifled their sniggers, and Naruto cheekily pointed over Kiba's shoulder. The brunette turned to discover that Sasuke had actually just been serving a table right behind him and was leering at him coldly.

"I'm not into bestiality," was the Uchiha's haughty response. Kiba's mouth fell open at the implication as Naruto and Suigetsu burst out into a fresh chorus of laughter at the combination of aghast look on their friend's face and Sasuke's thoroughly unimpressed glare.

"Shut up, guys," Kiba grumbled flatly into his drink. Finally, Suigetsu and Naruto managed to get their sniggers under control. "Speaking of Valentine's…" he rolled his eyes, "It's so much drama. Like, women are such trouble." Naruto leaned heavily on the bar in interest.

"So get this," Kiba sighed heavily, "My sister's friends with Temari…and she wants Shikamaru to take her on a date for Valentine's Day. But apparently Temari doesn't want to ask him…so she's pretending that she doesn't care about it; but Shikamaru thinks she _actually_ doesn't care about it so isn't acting on it…so Temari's getting angry at him and he doesn't know why…" He trailed off vaguely and took a deep scull of his drink.

"…Are they dating yet?" Suigetsu inquired curiously.

"Nope," Kiba replied flatly, "Too stubborn."

" –Haven't they been in love for like, years?" he remarked incredulously.

"Yep," Naruto and Kiba rolled their eyes.

"I do _not_ understand," Suigetsu admitted with a sigh. "She's like the bossiest person in the world and he couldn't give less fucks about anything! Now he won't get off his ass, and she won't stop being stubborn…How the fuck did they fall in love?"

"That's what I love," Naruto exclaimed in delight, "I mean come on! That's what's so great about love; it's so unpredictable! You call literally fall in love with _anyone_!"

" –It's tiresome," a cold voice interjected snobbily, and the three men looked over to discover that another two people had joined the bar, "Two martinis, Naruto; thanks."

"Sure thing, Neji," Naruto chuckled to himself; pushing off from the bar and grabbing two martini glasses, "Hey there, Hinata," he added; spying Neji's beautiful, quiet cousin hovering nervously at his elbow, "Sakura! Hinata's here!"

A pink head appeared from around the corner and green eyes lit up in delight as Sakura headed over to greet her friend.

"Why so bored with love, Neji?" Naruto inquired curiously, "Tis the season for it!"

"I didn't say it was boring," Neji corrected standoffishly, "I said it was tiresome. It's so much effort to put into meeting someone and getting to know them, and making small talk to figure out if you're compatible…Ugh…" He gratefully accepted the drink placed before him. "Makes me tired just thinking about it."

"I don't think you get what 'falling in love' is about," the blonde sighed; his eyes misting over, "You just…_know_. You just get a feeling, and you know that it's right! You really know how to make a beautiful thing sound tedious, Neji…"

" –Have you ever fallen in love?" Neji remarked flatly.

"…Well…no…" Naruto admitted sheepishly, "But I bet when I meet the right person, I'll just know; right, Sasuke?"

"I'm not taking part in this," Sasuke snapped with a scoff as he stalked past with a tray of beers, "How's the date hunt going?" He flashed the blonde a smirk and Naruto pouted crossly.

"I'm getting there!" he grouched crossly, "You guys are so unromantic."

"I'm realistic," Neji sniffed with a shrug, "And then there's Shikamaru and Temari…who everyone knows are in love; but they're not going to work –anyone can see that. They're too different."

"Opposites attract," Naruto smirked back, "Love works in mysterious ways."

"Don't quote clichés at us," Kiba rolled his eyes dramatically.

" –Well, it's true," he sniffed flatly, "If two people are in love, then it's bound to work, right? It doesn't matter who they are…They want to be together, so they make it work. True love, man –"

"Not this again…" Deidara complained flatly as he appeared from the kitchen, "Seriously, Naruto, you do this speech every year, yeah. Suigetsu; if Itachi asks why I'm not doing dishes, I'm on my break, yeah? Naruto; you wouldn't know your true love if it was standing right next to you." Naruto blinked at the slightly shorter blonde and obligingly looked over at Suigetsu.

"…Are you in love with me?" he asked, deadpanned. Suigetsu let out a snort of laughter. "Coz it's totally okay if you are. I mean, what's not to love about me?"

"…Obviously quite a lot, if you can't a date for the one day of the year when women can be desperate and not be judged for it," Sasuke commented flatly as he returned from the tables. Everyone present sniggered at Naruto's expense as he glared around at them.

"Oh yeah?" he sniffed, "What about you? Got a hot date in mind?"

"You could say that," Sasuke replied smoothly; a smug smirk playing around the edges of his lips –making Naruto rather feel like punching him. "I've had offers."

"Must be nice, not having to chase anyone," Naruto snorted crossly, "Having free access to anyone you want…" He poured a beer for himself and glared at Sasuke as the other man had the nerve to swipe it from his hand.

"Where's the fun in that?" Sasuke remarked with a shrug, "Besides, if they're not right, then what's the point?"

"Ooh; Sasuke Uchiha; a closet romantic?" Naruto teased; elbowing him in the ribs playfully.

"…Sure seems that way," Suigetsu and Deidara deadpanned; only to receive an irritated Uchiha glare from Sasuke.

"Well, if you don't call the girls, then how will you know if they're right?" the blonde persisted; referring the large amount of phone numbers that the Uchiha always seemed to accumulate. Sasuke just shrugged; throwing his tea towel in his face.

" –Like you said; you just know," he replied flatly, "I'm taking my break. Neji, want a drink?"

"Anything to get away from this conversation," Neji muttered in relief; heading over to find a table away from the racket of the bar.

"You know, Hinata, your cousin really needs to lighten up," Sakura remarked to Hinata; watching him head over, "Also, did you find out what kind of conditioner he uses? His hair looks fabulous…" Hinata giggled politely in agreement; not wanting to openly mock her cousin.

"H-He doesn't really believe in love," she informed them in her sweet, quiet voice, "He just thinks that when you find someone similar and 'compatible' and spend time with them, people mix up 'familiarity' with 'love'."

"Before this Valentine's Day is through, I will make a believer of Neji!" Naruto vowed; but not loud enough for Neji to be able to hear. Everyone laughed at him. His beliefs really were quite unshakeable, but they loved him for it.

* * *

That evening progressed as most evenings did at Club Akatsuki. Since it was just a casual Monday, the club area was closed off; leaving a much wider area for the bar. Naruto's friends had departed after a few casual drinks; leaving the bartenders to amuse themselves with the antics of the increasingly drunk patrons.

" –Fucking unbelievable, yeah," Deidara grumbled aggressively as he stalked into the kitchen where Naruto and Suigetsu were busy washing dishes. The bar didn't usually need all of them working, but since they usually made a plump amount of tips, Itachi wasn't going to deny them the work.

"Who this time?" Suigetsu inquired innocently.

"Same idiot that's always here on Monday nights," Deidara muttered mutinously, "That Tobi guy. Fucking split personality, I tell you, yeah. One minute he's all 'virgin mojito' then after he knocks that back, it's all 'single malt whiskey' and 'how about you take a break and let me fuck you'."

"Jesus," Suigetsu remarked flatly. "And he knows you're a dude?"

"…Judging by other things he's said…" Deidara commented; blushing slightly, "…Yeah. Yeah, he knows."

"So why not?" Suigetsu shrugged, "Itachi won't mind."

"I'm above sleazes like him, yeah," Deidara snapped hotly.

" –You complain about guys who want into your pants…and then bitch about when they don't," he rolled his eyes dramatically, "Seriously, Dei?" Immediately, Deidara's eyes flashed in irritation.

"Oh, you want to see why I 'bitch about guys not wanting in my pants'?" he snapped, "Fine!" He flung down his tea towel into the sink and stalked back to the bar. Naruto and Suigetsu, always intrigued by Deidara's strange mood swings; scampered after him. The pair of them broke out into sniggers as they saw Deidara leaning provocatively against the bar; finger in his mouth.

"Why's Deidara doing that?" Sakura inquired with a raised eyebrow, "I mean, cute outfit and all…" Today he was wearing a long-sleeved fishnet shirt with a different crop-top over it. They all suppressed laughs as coughs as Deidara licked his lips invitingly in the direction of a man sitting alone down the end of the bar.

The man sidled closer.

"Are you kidding me?" Sakura complained, "That guy's sexy as hell!"

"…Can't be if he's drinking alone on a Monday night…" Suigetsu muttered.

"Sssh!" Naruto hissed, "This is getting good!" They cringed as Deidara gave the man a flirty, sultry look and tossed his hair coyly before leaning on the bar with a playful look in his eyes.

"Hey sweet thing," the man remarked with a wink, "What's a beautiful girl like you doing working in a place like this?" Instead of answering, Deidara just shrugged with a sweet smirk and the man licked his lips right back. "How about I give you my number? You can give me a call some time?" Deidara coyly bit his index finger with a shy nod before leaning in slightly.

" –I'm a dude, yeah," he remarked flatly; in his obvious masculine voice. Naruto had never seen a man turn so white and flee so fast; swearing as he did so. Deidara turned to face them with an arm pointing at the swinging-shut door; as if to prove his point.

"I am strangely aroused," Suigetsu deadpanned.

"Same here," Sakura commented flatly, "If I was a straight man, I'd turn gay for you, Deidara."

"I think you all missed the part where he freaked out and ran away, yeah?" Deidara snapped angrily, "Fuck this. Men are pigs. I'm horny and need a self-esteem boost." On that note, he stalked over to the opposite end of the bar where the guy; Tobi –who always hit on Deidara on Mondays –was sitting. After literally a sentence of conversation, Tobi got up, and Deidara dragged him towards the bathrooms.

"He's better at flirting than me," Sakura realised.

" –Like, I don't even feel straight anymore," Suigetsu remarked; still staring at the spot where Deidara had been standing, "Naruto; kiss me, quick!"

"I'm not kissing you!" Naruto complained.

"You should totally kiss him," Sakura commented slyly, "Just so he can remind himself that he's not into dudes." Before Naruto had time to react, Sakura had pushed his face forwards and his mouth connected roughly with Suigetsu's.

After a few seconds of their lips pressing together, Naruto felt the force on his head lift and wrenched backwards; both he and Suigetsu glaring openly at a mischievous Sakura.

" –I wasn't _serious_!" Suigetsu complained, "On the plus side; totally not into dudes."

"Does anyone mind telling me why the pair of you were just kissing?" Itachi's firm voice inquired in an amused tone. Naruto and Suigetsu looked over and took a step back when they encountered both Uchiha brothers peering at them with blank expressions.

"Funny story…Deidara…" Suigetsu coughed awkwardly.

" –Where is he?" Itachi asked, looking down the bar and not seeing the rowdy blonde.

"Having sex in the bathroom," Sakura replied innocently, "I mean…on a break…" Itachi just let out a low sigh and rolled his eyes, saying, "If anyone needs me, I'll be outside in the front section –"

"…Of course you will be," his employees all muttered under their breaths.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked darkly.

"Nothing, Itachi," they assured him; looking the absolute epitome of innocence. He looked at them suspiciously but nonetheless headed out the front to where there were a couple slightly more intoxicated individuals that might need to be escorted by the bouncer.

"That was mean, Sakura," Naruto snapped with a pout as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, "That was my first kiss with a guy!"

"Not true," she scoffed, and he raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Remember in gym class in high school? You kissed Sasuke?" Naruto's mouth fell open in shock and shot a quick look at a sniggering Suigetsu and then over to a scowling Sasuke.

"T-That doesn't count!" he exclaimed; flushing bright red, "It was an accident! Doesn't count!"

"Ahh yes…an accident…that's right…" Sakura remarked nostalgically. "It was hilarious though…"

"As much as I love being embarrassed and uncomfortable…" Naruto snapped, sticking his tongue out at her. "How long until Itachi starts pulling a Deidara on Kisame over there?" Suigetsu and Sakura cackled to themselves at the thought of Itachi seducing the massive bouncer Deidara-style.

"I obviously missed something," Sasuke deadpanned; folding his arms and waiting to be filled in. Naruto roared with laughter and struck up a pose against the bar; sticking his ass and chest out in parody of Deidara's stance. He flicked his hair wildly and licked his lips dramatically. He stuck his finger in his mouth; exaggeratedly biting it and raising his eyebrows mock-seductively.

Sasuke actually chuckled; facepalming at how ridiculous Naruto looked.

"Am I sexy yet?" Naruto asked jokingly, turning his back to them and looking over his shoulder with a flamboyant head toss. They all burst out laughing openly; even Sasuke.

"I don't know how you do it," Suigetsu roared, slapping Naruto on the shoulder as he bowed dramatically, "I swear, you're the only one who can make Sasuke laugh!"

"That's because I'm both adorable _and_ hilarious," Naruto smirked; shouldering Sasuke companionably as he passed.

"You're an _idiot_, that's what," Sasuke rolled his eyes with a sigh; though there was still a small smile playing on his lips. "Drink?"

"Definitely," Naruto agreed, "Being Deidara is hard work! Hey, Sakura; bet you'd get more numbers if you flirted like that!"

" –Yeah right," Sakura scoffed with a smirk as Naruto and Sasuke began fixing them all drinks in tandem. "Oh, by the way; remember how you have to do the shopping for the Lonely Night Out decorations."

"I have to do that every year," he complained good naturedly; clinking glasses with Sasuke and then with Suigetsu.

"Well that's because since you're there every year, you know what decorations go best," Sasuke smirked. Naruto elbowed him crossly and pouted as the others laughed at him.

"You guys are mean," he sniffed, "Have some faith; I will not be forever alone this year!"

* * *

**Naruto has such a wonderful view on what love is like. Meanwhile, he's got dates to find for his friends and shopping to do for an event he *reaaaally* doesn't want to attend! **

**I love the friendships these workmates have, so I'll hopefully be updating soooooon. Leave a review? Maybe? No matter; hope you enjoyed chapter two!**

**xx K**


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